Saturday, October 20, 2007

ALL WIVES...must read!

Joe and I are taking a 10 week course, through our church, on marriage. It has been amazing! The first 2 weeks was directed to WIVES and discussed subtle ways in which we can disrespect our husbands without even realizing it. This was eye opening and convicting to me but I have been grateful for the lesson. Because it has been so impacting to me, I would like to pass it on to any wives who may read our blog. I pray that it encourages you as it has me.

Respect Your Husband

1. Respect, on every level, means the world to a man. (including sons, brothers, dads...any men)

2. Respect his family because of the position they hold in his life. Watch how you think about, talk about, and act towards his family.

3. Respect his friends and his right to choose his own friends and respect whom he chooses.

4. Respect his upbringing (how his family does Christmas, vacations, family traditions.)

5. Respect his jokes and story telling…don’t interrupt or roll your eyes.

6. Respect his opinion, his taste and preferences.

7. Respect him in conversations with others (friends, family, and kids.) Don’t make him the butt of the jokes, or put him down. Speak instead of what you love about him and tell what he is good at.

8. Respect his hobbies and interests. Don’t view it as a competition for attention or make it into a power struggle.

9. Respect his occupation.

10. Respect his salary. Respect how much he works, how hard he works and how much he gets paid.

11. Respect his ability to do the job somebody hired him to do. Don’t try to manage his career path.

12. Respect his feelings and his ability to handle your feelings. Be a safe person for him to share with.

13. Respect his requests—let him know that I have thought about him during the day. i.e. If he asks me to pick up his dry cleaning during the day…don’t forget! Set his request as a priority.

14. Respect your husband’s physical appearance (guys struggle just as much as women in this area.)

15. Respect his faults, failures, mistakes and weaknesses. Men are called to servant leadership and called to lead their wives in areas that they themselves may not be strong in. How do I respond to his mistakes? Does my desire to be right override my desire to love and respect my husband? Are we engaged in a partnership or a power struggle? He will be less inclined to lead if he hears about every mistake he makes. Note: we are not called to respect sinful choices or behaviors…confront in love.

16. Respect his sexuality…his sexual make up. Sit down and talk about needs, likes, dislikes, etc. The sexual arena can become a power struggle. Talk about frequency and which person initiates…this may become less romantic, but may help for a time.

17. Respect his ability to act, think and chose for himself. He is a grown man and can think for himself. The marriage relationship is an adult to adult relationship…not a parent-child relationship. Don’t confuse “wiving” and “parenting”…he doesn’t need a parent or a manager. Love your husband, parent your children.

At the end of the lesson, the husbands were given an assignment. They were to review all the areas of respect and let us (the wife) know 3-5 areas that are most important to him. This lead to great discussion and helps me to better understand and respect Joe.

Happy Respecting!


Auntie Joannie said...

That was very interesting. Do they have one on respect your Wife?? I can't believe that Toby will be a year old in a couple of months. Such a cutie! Love the pictures. Can't wait to see all of you next month. Red sox did it!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Interesting! Did a man write that?

Amy said...

Hi! You don't know me- I'm a friend of Heather Dillard's. I found your blog off hers, and I read your Respect post. I felt like such a bad wife that I copied and pasted the list into an e-mail and sent it to my friends, and now we're ALL wanting to know more about this course, and especially more about the guy's portion! Is the class from a specific book? Any info would be appreciated! Thanks, and sorry to look like such a nerd! I promise I'm somewhat normal!

Amy Cowan